The power of a bond

How can your heart ache so much for something that lasted so short?  How can your heart ache to talk to people you haven’t spoken to in months?  In years?  How is it that when you’re together it is so great but the minute you scatter across the country you lose touch?

It’s bittersweet to see others reunite because all you want is to be there with them.  You know you can’t but you remember the times of the past when everything was good.  You see a picture they post and want to hear the stories behind it.  You think of the things only they understand.  The memories only they know.  You remember the stupid mistakes you made, the stupid things you said, the laughter, the tears, the food, the lack of sleep.

It hurts to know you may never see them again.  It hurts to not know if they care the same way you do.  You feel as though they have forgotten you.

You know the plans that many have to meet again.  You know they will bond, catch up, stay up late, laugh.  And on one hand you’re happy for them; happy that they get to see each other and be together.  But on the other hand you can hardly stand it because you’re heart is too heavy knowing you cannot be there.  You think of any and every crazy possible way that you might be able to join them until it becomes hopeless and you have to resign yourself to the harsh reality that you may never see these people again.

And while you’ve tried to forget the pain, to make it go away, you wonder when you will finally be able to stop feeling the ache of missing them.  You wonder if you will ever be able to tell them how much you still care and think about them.

You feel mellow-dramatic; and let’s face it you are.  But somehow on the bad days this is just how you feel.

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