So tomorrow is the day. The day that I have been raising money for. The day I have been packing for, planning for, praying for (wow that is alliteration). Tomorrow I leave for Seattle!!
It doesn’t seem real yet. But here it is none-the-less and as I sit waiting for the last load of laundry to finish drying, I thought I would write a new post for you guys.
Today started out as a struggle but I think through the grace of God and my own willpower, I turned it into a pretty decent day all things considered. After my rough start I got a lot accomplished and I still have tomorrow morning for all the things I forgot about today. I basically finished packing after dinner and in the process cleaned my bathroom and my room with time (and room) to spare!
I am feeling pretty good about tomorrow. I am excited to meet the team, to fly for the first time, to see the west coast, to see mountains, and sooooo many other things. I think most of all, I can’t wait to see what God does and how God teaches this team and me. I know that he is going to use this experience to not only teach me about himself but also more about this passion I have for criminology and how he wants me to use that in the future.
I know that this trip will most likely be tough emotionally, mentally, and spiritually but isn’t that how we grow? We have to go through the rough patches and the tough times to learn where to fall and how to act. It’s like those grown-ups always say: “it builds character”. I guess now we see how true that really is. God uses challenges and trials to show us weakness and where we cannot do it ourselves. He shows us the places where we think we can do it, but in reality we need him. He shows us our brokenness.
Sometimes in the midst of these trials we feel like it will never end, like it is going to kill us, and a lot of times we think that it seemingly has no purpose. What could we possibly learn? But one day, we look back and realize that we wouldn’t be where we are and we wouldn’t be who we are without these times and trials.
So next time you find yourself emotionally eating chocolate like they will never stock it in Target again, crying in the shower, or, in my case, watching episodes of Gilmore Girls at 2 am remember that even if we can’t see it now, there is a reason for our pain. I believe that God has a plan, he knows what is happening and what will happen. Most of all, I believe that there is an end to the pain. As Gary Allen puts it, “every storm runs out of rain / just like every dark night turns into day”.
So I know that this trip is not always going to be easy, I also know that I will not fail and I know I will not come home the same person I was when I left. The good and the bad of this trip are going to change me. And I cannot wait!
*Pain has a purpose AND an end*