Going Back

I recently saw a post about emotions and how they can be good (http://goodwomenproject.com/emotions/when-people-are-terrified-of-your-negative-emotions).  This threw me for a loop; it seems like this topic has been coming up in my life a lot recently.  A conversation with my sister showed me this a week or so ago and then I found this article.  Is God trying to tell me something?

This question comes at an odd time too.  I just returned to Butler for my second semester and feelings of doubt, unhappiness, and overwhelming sadness have occupied my thoughts for the better part of the last week.  I normally feel like those feelings mean I am not trusting God and that I am doing something wrong.  But this article has helped me to see that maybe my feelings are OK.

Let me say that again.  My feelings are OK.

They are a response to the situation.  They are telling me how I need to handle it.  Maybe they are an indication that I am not trusting God but just because I have those feelings doesn’t mean that I am not trusting him.  It doesn’t mean that I am doing something wrong.  It is a way for me to see how I should proceed in this situation. My sadness at returning to school doesn’t mean that I am not trusting God, it means that I love and missed my family/friends from home.  It means that I am HUMAN. I love my family…so what that I don’t want to leave them!  If I moved in with them as a result of this feeling and never left because I was sad about leaving, that would be bad. I would miss out on so many opportunities.

But that is not happening; instead I went back to school anyway. I am acknowledged the feelings and praying about them! Trusting that God will help me through this.  I am not saying I am not trusting God and that’s why I am feeling sadness. I am saying my pain comes from leaving home and so I can go from there withOUT beating myself about the fact that I am feeling sad. Because it is ALRIGHT!!

The article goes into such a great explanation about how this works and when it doesn’t.  But my take away, what I am feeling is OK.  It is OK to be mad, sad, angry, frustrated.  Instead it matters how you deal with those feelings and what happens with those feelings.

*You can feel; it’s alright.*

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It’s a new year!!!

It’s always a little bittersweet when I ring in a new year. Happy because its a new year, a fresh start; sad because its the end of a year, the realization that time moves quickly and we can’t control it. But as the new year is rung in, we can continue to put focus on God and his great works! He has done so much in the last year for me and who knows what is planned for this year.

So much happened from last January to December. I never saw much of it happening and then it did! I can only imagine the things that are in store for this next year! Whatever it is I hope I have the strength and determination to follow God’s plan and his path for this next year. I can’t wait to see what surprising and amazing things I will be reflecting on this next January 1st…

God controls all, and Happy New Year!!!